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THE IDEAL OF WOMANHOOD |
"The Feminine Principle is spoken of as the illusion imposed on Himself by the Lord, as the Energy with which He equipped Himself out of His own will. This is why Woman is considered to be an embodiment of the Supreme Shakti. She is the faithful companion of man, his fortune; since she is the concretisation of the Will of the Lord, she is Mystery, Wonder, the representative of the protective Principle. She is the queen of man's home, his beneficence, the illumination of his house. Women are in now way inferior (to men) for they are the repositories of the divine Force." Sathya Sai Baba (Dharma Vahini, ch 4)
One may well be wondering what Sai Baba means when He says that women "are repositories of the divine Force", that they are the "embodiments of the Supreme Shakt". We are apt to equate force with physical strength, but that is not the force of which Baba is speaking here. It is rather the energy of patient perseverance, of idealism, of inner wisdom, the life-force that propels things towards greater fulfilment. I has been said that the woman is the force behind man’s forcefulness. Baba continues to say, "How full of fortitude, patience and Love is their nature! Their self-control is seldom equalled by men. They are the exemplars and leaders of men in treading the spiritual path. Pure, selfless love is inborn in women. Women who are full of knowledge, who are cultured, who are bound by love and who are keen to discriminate whether their words are in conformity with righteous living (Dharma) – such women bring joy and good fortune to the home." (Dharma Vahini, ch 4)
Sai Baba asks that "men should realise the high status of women and honour and respect them accordingly." (discourse of 19-11-1995) But, as women, perhaps we need to appreciate our own high status too, and fully understand our role as women. Right from the first incipient beginnings of civilisation, we have been the Yin to man's Yang, the inspiration that turns the practical into the beautiful, and, above all, we are the makers of a home. A home is not a house – that is just the shell that may, or may not, contain a home. "What is a home? How is it different from a house? A home is filled with love, and with the sacrifices that love involves, the joy that love radiates, and the peace that love imparts. The brick and mortar structure where parents and children spend their lives is not necessarily a home. Children do not yearn for it and parents do not find peace therein." (discourse of 26-7-1969) A home is a place in which its members feel welcomed, accepted and loved. It is a place of nurturing – nurturing not just of the body but of the spirit. It is the place from which one derives the strength to face the world.
He says too, "Countries are in a state of chaos today, therefore we must see that an atmosphere of peace prevails. For both peace and joy, it is the home that is most important. If there is no joy in the homes, how can there be joy in the nations? How can persons who are unable to set right their own homes, ever succeed in setting right the nation? We say that the world is full of discord, but from where has this discord come? It has come from within us." (discourse of 19-11-1995)
Homes are the basic units of any nation, and only a woman can produce one. As Baba says, a woman is the "wealth of the home, as man’s faithful companion in the pilgrimage towards God and self-realization, and as the mistress of the house. If the women of a country are happy, healthy and holy, the men of that country will be hardy, honest and happy." (discourse of 9-9-1958) In today’s world, there are many women who resent being seen as ‘only’ home-makers. They feel that to dub her thus is to relegate her to the kitchen sink. Not at all. There are many other areas in which women can usefully contribute to the wellbeing of society, but we should not do so at the expense of our one greatest contribution, that of producing a home for our family.
To again quote Sathya Sai Baba, He says, "I do not declare that women should not be educated or that they should not move in society. Wherever they move, if they are endowed with good qualities, and if those good qualities are accompanied by good actions and good habits, then their study will have been worth while and society has indeed benefited." ("Dharma Vahini" ch V) He says too, "You may also take up jobs, but you should not give up the obligations of womanhood. The first title given to a woman is ‘goddess of the home’. A woman is expected o confer all prosperity, honour and good name on the home and on the family. . . . The home and the family is the basic social institution, everywhere in the world." (discourse of 19-11-1996)
There is something that I think we women do not always realise. A woman is in no way inferior to a man, but she is different, and her role is different. A woman has her own nature, her own talents, her own strengths and her own weaknesses – and, above all, she has her own role to play. Instead of that, modern woman feels that, in order to proclaim her equality with men, she must be like a man. She feels that, in order to fully express herself, she must give priority to her job or profession, dress in the feminine equivalent of a business suit, hug a briefcase under her arm, and tackle the world of business head on.
In doing all this, she proudly asserts that she is man's equal, but her slavish emulation announces to all the world that she considers womanhood to be an inferior state. It is said that "imitation is the sincerest form of praise", and, by aping men in nearly every field of activity, all that modern woman has succeeded in proclaiming, is that to be a worth-while person one has to act and work like a man. Let us women be in the work-force if we have to – and many of us do have to – but let us not forget that no one else can do our job of producing a home and bringing new lives into the world. To the extent that we have to neglect that primary duty, the world is that much poorer. "The home is the . . . beacon which illumines the world and sustains it. Women should realize that, irrespective of their education or position, their foremost duty is to protect the home." (discourse of 19-11-1996)
We all know that only a woman can bear children, but bringing a new life into the world is only half the job. There are creches, there are play-centres, there are schools, but none of those can replace the vital role of the mother. There is a subtle link between the child and the mother, and that link is not broken when the umbilical cord is cut. To develop properly, a baby needs the caring love of the mother, and continues to need it well past the time when it begins to walk. Care-givers can give physical care, but only the mother can give the child the sense of security born of love for which it craves. As the years go by, that ‘mother-love’ needs to manifest as a nurturing of the spirit, not just as a bodily nurturing, but the need for it always remains. For the growing child, it spells ‘home’.
And who, apart from the mother, can teach her daughters how to manifest the true qualities of a woman? "Modesty is essential for a woman; it is her priceless jewel. It is against the Dharma of a woman to overstep the limits of modesty; crossing that limit bring on many calamities. Without modesty, a woman is devoid of beauty and culture. Humility, purity of thought and manners, meekness, surrender to high ideals, sensitivity, sweetness of temper – the peculiar blend of all these qualities is modesty. It is the most invaluable of all jewels for women. The modest woman will ever keep within limits, through her innate sense of propriety. She becomes automatically aware of which behaviour is proper and which is not. If a woman has no modesty, she is injuring the interests of womanhood itself, besides undermining her own personality. She becomes like a flower without fragrance, which the world does not cherish or honour, and of which it cannot approve. The absence of modesty in a woman, makes her life a waste and a vacuum, however rich she might be in other accomplishments. Modesty lifts her to the heights of holiness, giving her authority in the home as well as outside, in the community as well as in the world." ("Dharma Vahini" ch IV) Who else but the mother can teach her daughters that?